The Silence I Learned to Carry: Real Talk From a Male Survivor of Sexual Abuse

Roughly one in six men in the United States experience sexual abuse before age 18, yet many never disclose their abuse because of stigma and rigid expectations about masculinity.

As a survivor, I learned early that being a boy, and later a man, meant burying fear, sadness and vulnerability. My silence equated with strength, control and survival—a lesson reinforced by male role models and peers.

Let’s face it, most sexual violence is committed by men, but women and girls are not its only victims. Men and boys experience sexual violence, too. Although it's not talked about as much, we are survivors too. 

So, let’s talk about it—to heal ourselves and help others.

My journey has given me a unique opportunity to help others while continuing to heal myself. I believe I am meant to use my lived experience as a tool for good in the world. I’ve learned that many boys and men carry similar stories, often in isolation, often convinced that no one would believe them or care. Masculinity did not protect me; it protected the silence around abuse. And I learned that healing required not becoming “less of a man,” but redefining what being a man could mean.

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